Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Kyra Davis----Hilarious I just read these books by Kyra Davis and they are funny as shit. The main character is this female named Sophie who is half Black and Jewish and she's ALWAYS getting into trouble. Thankfully so cause its amusing. ----------------------- "I went to the window and tried to open it---it wouldn't budge. Something was keeping the window from moving. I stepped back and examined it. There was a large plastic thing attached to the window. The words Baby Safe were written across it in big pink bubble-letters. I tried not to hyperventilate. I was going to be the first person to die as a result of an overly baby-proofed room." -------------------------------------------------------- ...but by far the most stunning item in the kitchen was a gourmet, top-of-the-line Starbucks Barista Digital Italia Expresso 2000. I was vaguely aware of Anatoly getting something out of the refrigerator as I walked over to the machine and let my hand hover over its top. "May I touch it?" I asked in an awe whisper. Anatoly smiled and walked to my side. "Usually when a woman asks me that she's not talking about my coffeemaker." I shot him a disgusted look. "How dare you refer to this miracle of technology as a coffeemaker!" "Forgive me." Anatoly moved his hand over hand over mine and then pressed down until it was sandwiched between the glistening steel of the Espresso 2000 and the slightly rough texture of his palm. Images of making love in a field of Arabica coffee beans filled my head. "Will you..." My voice faltered as I looked up into his eyes. "Will you work it for me?" Anatoly broke into a grin. "Sophie, I thought you'd never ask." Without removing his hand, he maneuvered himself behind me. Now my back was pressed against his stomach. He reached his right hand up to open a cabinet door above my head and he pulled out a coffee grinder. I swallowed. "You use whole beans?" Anatoly nodded and moved his mouth closer to my ear. "It's better when it's strong." Okay---orgasm time. I closed my eyes and tried to resist the temptation of the moment. What was it that guys did when they wanted to last longer? Think about sports, right? But you would have to know something about sports to think about them, and my knowledge in that area was limited to the game of Frisbee. There was no way that a flying disk was going to distract me from the organ that was beginning to press into the small of my back. "So...um...should we grind the beans?" "Shhh." Anatoly's lips had moved from my ear to my neck. "We dont want to rush the process." ------------------------------------------------------- My arm brushed against the item Anatoly had retrieved from the fridge. I opened one eye and saw the brown-and-gold bag. The label read Special Reserve Estate 2003---Sumatra Lintong Lake Tawar---only the best espresso beans money could buy....What difference did it make if he was an egocentric chauvinistic womanizer? Clearly he was my soul mate. ------------------------------------------------------- In the past when Anatoly and I had come this close to having sex, something had always stopped me. Usually it was the nagging fear that he was actually trying to kill me. But now I had put all those fears to rest. How could anyone who owned an Espresso 2000 be capable of something as sordid as murder? ------------------------------------------------------- Anatoly pulled back just enough to make eye contact. 'You really want to stop now?' 'Umm....' 'What if I told you that in the drawer directly beneath you there was a box of chocolate-covered espresso beans?' 'Dark chocolate?' 'What else?' 'Let's get it on.' ------------------------------------------------------- I moaned and threw my head back, banging it against the cabinet behind me. 'Are you all right?' 'Fantastic. Can I have another espresso bean?' Anatoly laughed. "I feel like I'm using your addiciton to obtain illicit sexual favors." "Well of course you are. You dont have a moral problem with that, do you?" "I think my conscience can take it." He fed me another bean and slipped his other hand inside my panties. When I felt his finger push inside me, I almost exploded. I would have called out his name if I wasn't so busy chewing. ------------------------------------------------------- 'I have wanted you since the moment I saw you.' 'Even when you thought I was a murderess?' 'Even then,' he confessed. 'I know it's twisted, but I couldn't help myself.' 'Nothing wrong with being a little twisted' -------------------------------------------------------- Finally, he sat up and removed his own briefs. My eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh my God, you're not circumcised!" Antaoly looked down at his erection. "Nice of you to notice." "I've never seen an uncircumcised penis before." "Well, your welcome to become more acquainted with mine." I reached out my hand and stroked him slowly. Anatoly's breath quickened. I glanced up at him. "It looks different." "Sophie, when men say they want women to talk during sex, this is not the conversation they're thinking of." "It's like it has a little hat." Anatoly muttered a Russian curse and gently removed my hand. "You're lucky you're so damn sexy, you know that?" He hid the object of my fascination beneath a layer of latex. "Hey, if you dont like what I have to say, then give me something else to talk about." "Happily." He pulled me up so we were both sitting on the bed, my legs wrapped around him once more. He parted my lips with his tongue. I felt him pressing against my inner thigh, and then with a slow, deliberate movement he entered me and I forgot about Mr. Happy's little hat. 6:40 pm - Wednesday, Oct. 12, 2011 *********************************************************************************** |
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