Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Positive Ideals The bright side of things... * My brothers are here...woot woot!!! Even though right at this moment theyre a BUNCH of fuckin bay bay kids...but I know deep down I still love em...even though I wanna choke the shit outta em (not really) * Me and 17(19) are cool again...I told gma I cnt stand his fuckin guts some days but hes my sidekick...he laughed and said thats pretty much our relationship...theres days where we know how to chill and theres days where we butt heads... And we both were excited to tlk and kick it with each other... And not only am I super excited to kick it with my sibs...Im grateful that my gparents took me in...we are dysfunctional and we make fun of each other...but its great...I finally feel as if I have ppl at my back no matter what...and that they actually love me...not because theyre supposed too...or because I can babysit or give them money (like my mother)...I finally feel like I can blossom and achieve everything I was supposed to in life...as corny as that sounds... Examples of the wit and sarcasm: Gma: Here *hands me an ad* Gma: Do we need aluminum foil? Uncle: Hey *points to the ladder thats at the side of the po'barn...ladder goes past roof* whats with the ladder?
7:48 pm - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010 *********************************************************************************** Negative Purge To purge all negatives: *A few days after my bday skittles came over and wanted me to go drinkin with her and her dad...and she had to wrk...soooooo itd be just me and her dad...drunk...I almost shit myself...how do I explain that 'hey-ur-dad- made-a-pass-at-me-on-ur-grad-party-and-cause-I-got-TOTALLY-shitfaced-shit-happened-and-yeah-ur-dad-gives-me- the-creeps-even-though-I-blame-myself..." And it makes one wonder...her dad knew skittles would leave us to go to wrk and there would be no one home...and that it would be just us drinkin...WTF...did he want a repeat of that night? *shudders* Maybe I should start with 'hey skittles....' I highly doubt she would believe me...but she would probably leave me alone...which brings up point number 2... *Shes once again drivin me up the FUCKIN wall...and she thinks that things are the same as before...as in before she got on my damn nerves...and the WORST part: She wants to fuckin move in with me at my gmas...like seriously...bitch have u lost ur damn mind?! And she was all like well Ill be wrkin and stuff so I wnt be round and I cnt pay rent...ummm yeah...I FEEL HORRIBLE cause of my no job status at this very moment that I cnt pay my gparents rent (even though when I had money they wouldnt accept it) but sure lets bring in ANOTHER deadbeat young adult in this household... * Saw my mother the other day...I look at her now and she no longer looks beautiful or nice or well kept or idk all the positive things I used to feel...instead I pity her...and I just dnt understand how someone STILL does NOT have their fuckin ducks in a row when theyre almost 40... Then again...mayb thats why she looks so forlorn and that she did everythin fuckin backwards to get this job...mayb she understands why she cnt keep livin like shes a teenager... Maybe... 7:24 pm - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010 *********************************************************************************** |
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