Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Snap. Twat. Mixer. Aroused. Campy. Coney Dog.
She wanted Coney dogs. I ordered Coney dogs from MI. 2 kits. 60$ a fucking kit. I get horseshoe fries to make along with the dogs cause thats whats normally served with em (blah). For her cake I let her pick and made a boston cream pie (thank you Martha Stewart! the first recipe was shit but you allowed me to save the day) and I cubed the crumbly shitty first version of the boston cream imposter. To go with the cubed imposter I made a whipped chocolate mousse. Put it all in small glasses. Hung up a shit ton of decorations. Spread out super cutely wrapped bday presents (I wrap with tissue paper. 2 sheets white and 1 sheet whatever theme. tie pretty coordinating ribbon). Googled how to cook hot dogs. 1 batched I popped in the oven at 350 for 15 minutes. The other batch I did 2 at a time in a pan half full of water to steam em. Beautiful dogs. Had a snap and were plump. I timed this perfectly. Every time I cook my family bitches that I take too long. I dont do 30 minute meals. All my meals and even desserts take time. Average is an hour and a half. We usually eat like 530/6. To me thats not even that big of a deal. But they like to eat 430/5. So I really made sure to start early. My mother went shopping. Shopping! Then when she finally gets home the kids are all like happy birthday! and circling because everyone is hungry. She then takes her sweet ass time. Told her dinner is whenever she is ready. FOREVER goes by. At one point she actually told the kids to go clean their room since they were so "bored". They arent bored! Theyre hungry! Hungry! After some more time I was like the food is getting cold. She actually got a fucking attitude with me. What? Huh? Fine. Fuck it. Some time after that she finally decides we can eat. Looks surprised that the kids are acting like grumpy starving orphans. She put on a bit of a production of ooohing and aaahhhing everything. Passing out fucking hugs and blah blah blah. We all forgave each other again. Hunger is a super bitch. Eventually her on and off bf Boomerang came through. Bringing his own food as per usual. Bub actually offered him a "chili dog" and he scuffed like I dont eat hotdogs for dinner. Ummm excuse me theyre Coney dogs you twat. Ugh. ---------------------------------- Other random mentionables are: * Finally got a new hand mixer. WOOT WOOT!!! This one comes with a whisk attachment. I made a frittata the other day and was just so amazed at how fluffy I got those eggs. I am so determined not to kill this mixer. I go through em every few months. Then Ill go a few months without them. I treat my 30$ mixers like theyre fancy kitchen aides. No lie. I cannot even say how many mixers Ive literally had blown up/smoked/sparked at me cause I put it through its cream cheese/heavy dough paces. * We're all sick in our fucking household. Boo. I have sneezed like a billzion times. I dont sneeze normally. If I do its like once. Now I cant stop sneezing and my nose always feels aroused like its never quite satisfied with the act. Its driving me nuts. * Speaking of arousal. Im pretty sure I sort of caught my 13 year old brother, Seven (??? nicknames. nicknames.) playing with himself last night. It was quick. I didnt have my glasses on (Im damn near blind without em) cause it was night time and I went to shut off a light one of the damn kids (probably Seven) left on. Turned my head caught a glimpse of thigh and him putting his hands over his lap. Shut off light. Went back to bed. Realized my brother was probably playing with himself. And he was like not that far from my bed. Double ew. The basement is set up as an entertainment/lounge area, the laundry area, and the livable space. The livable space and lounge area is open. No walls. My stuff is pretty much on one side of the basement and the other side is the couch and games systems and blah blah blah. Seven has his own room but decides to work out his frustrations a couple yards from where I was sleeping. Scarred. Just so scarred. Thank god I didnt hear anything. They all know I sleep with my ipod on. * I have been depressed. Like horribly. How did I get through this depression? By reading campy vampire romance novels online. Legit telling the truth. Why? I have no idea. Ive been obsessed with this series. It was the only thing that strangely allowed me to sorta kinda function. I dont know how to explain it. But its kinda funny cause now I have absolutely no interest in the series. Where before I was like oh my gosh. But now I feel back to normal. Like Im not just going through the motions. The author I was digging is Christine Feehan and her Dark series. All about Carpathian males. Semi serial killer who has no feelings and cant see in color but wants love. Meets girl (psychic or Carpathian female). Binds her to him. Sees color. Acts all caveman. Male almost dies from hunting vampire. Girl saves man. They live happily ever after banging the shit out of each other. These books strangely amused me and I thought they were funny sometimes. Though I did treat them like my dirty little secret and no one knows that I read almost the entire series from Dec to first week of Feb. * My mother wants to go see 50 Shades this friday. Why? She really wants to go though. She kept circling it and she has no one else to go with. So she'll mention it and then back off. Then mention it. Then be like is it weird? But then look hopeful when the trailer comes on. Ive read all the books. Ive just had no interest in the movie. Maybe if its like on Lifetime or Starz and Im flicking channels or something. The cast just did nothing for me. I however have the strangest feeling that Ill be seeing it soon. 9:24 pm - Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2015 *********************************************************************************** |
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