Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Ninth Edition
I quit smoking and have the patch. And on one hand I'm glad to kick it to the curb. On the other hand I sort of miss it and its fucking with my math grade. I've quit for like 9 days and my math grade went from a 90% to a 64%. That is an issue because I do need to pass the fucking class. Im just not sure if this shit is in my head or what? Ugh. 7:01 pm - Wednesday, May. 29, 2013 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Eighth Edition
I have to say I kinda like this patch. I get a continuous stream of nicotine in my system. Even my mom was saying that my moods seem more mellow. Nicotine patch = mood stabilizer. I know I shouldn't be happy that Im trading one drug in for another one. But at least Im not smoking the chemicals and eventually I'll be weaned off. Also learned to take it off at night. I already have weird dreams as it is no need for a drug enhanced gel patch to make things worse. Been watching old episodes of South of Nowhere. I havent seen it in years...like when it was actually on tv. I kinda like it. Work has been going alright. Fucking store I swear. Im annoyed with this one bitch who for some reason feels she can check me. Over stupid shit. Like I havent already been working here for months. Just because they now put you in service and me in the lanes does not mean I suddenly forgot how to do my fucking job. Bitch. And to be completely honest. I fucking hate service. HATE. It. I've never liked that position because of all the extra bullshit that goes with it so I'm pretty happy just being a cashier. 9:51 pm - Saturday, May. 25, 2013 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Seventh Edition
In July Im gonna go see Peanutbutter and Im excited! Woot woot!!! I decided I need to make a new Phaythles. Since I dont like who I am I need to change. I deserve to have a happier and better me. Thus the stopping of smoking. Also getting my work out on. Well trying...I'll admit I do fall off the wagon at times. And trying to get a better more mature wardrobe. Im turning 24( !!!!!!!!!!!! ) in June. That scares me. My sister is addicted to drugs. Damn fiend. She smokes I dont how many blunts a day. Drinks. Lives with a bunch of rachet ass hood rats. My sister is a fuckin bottom feeder. A deadbeat. How'd that happen? No fuckin clue. Not only is she unmotivated. She is fuckin retarded at times. And her personality is more bitchy and mean girl. At this point in time I dont have much to do with her. She makes my brain hurt all the time. Still havent talked to Skittles. Its been since Feb and this is a long time in our world. But Im done. Every once in awhile Ill get the urge cause Im bored. But that relationship has been backwards for awhile. So Imma let her do her and probably check on her sometime down the road. Maybe it'll work out. Maybe not. I did send my gma flowers for mothers day. It made me feel good. Even though I think shes crazy Im trying to turn over a new leaf. My family is crazy. Every. Single. Member. But I dont want to be stressed out or bent because of that. So I'll let it go. This is the text she sent me: "Thank you my flowers are beautiful that was really nice of you and I love you" We'll probably never be close again. But I consider this paying it forward and good karma points. 8:14 pm - Tuesday, May. 21, 2013 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Sixth Edition
Which burned and itched the first 30 minutes I had it on. And I want to munch. I cant tell you how badly I wanna eat the box of sprinkled covered donut holes we have upstairs. I dont even like donuts like that. Dont really have a sweet tooth. Im more into carbs like pasta...crackers...bread. Which is also why I want to run to the store to get a bag of cheez its and cheetos and shit. Im just gonna keep my ass in the house. Thank god my hair is lookin crazy at the moment and Im rockin sweats. And there is more but Im feeling lazy. But I was internet hopping...to avoid my homework that I had. Mustn't forget I am a procrastinator. Found a bunch of rachet random articles to entertain myself but I did run across this one talking about horoscopes. I dont hold everything to a horoscope nor do I follow them like that. That being said it amuses me when they mention traits that I do have. "Cancers find it difficult to communicate what they're feeling because they shut down all emotional responses when hurt" Very true. That is often my issue with my mother. She gets angry I shut down. "No surprise that Cancers are very attached to their homes. Like hermit crabs, they cannot survive without a home to call their own. It keeps them grounded and makes them feel safe." Also very true. I like being around people but after awhile everyone makes my damn brain hurt and I need "me" time. "A strong creative force, one that involves them with the arts in some capacity, and they take great pleasure in expressing themselves creatively." We are an artsy-craftsy type of family. I love craft time. A lot. Probably more than my 6 year old brother. I use him as a reason for the different activities though. Hah! "Cancers need to express their feelings without fear of rebuke. Shy Cancers are deathly afraid of being rejected, so if they feel that there's even the slightest chance that will happen, they'll immediately pull back into their shells." No extra commentary needed for this one. "It's very difficult to please Cancers at all times. The best you can do is to simply wait until they snap out of it and return to normal." Ahahaha!! We are known for being moody. I'll admit to that flaw. Shit. My damn neurosis is ALL over this blog. "You ever fall from Cancer's good graces, you may never be forgiven." I forgive a lot. But if you fuck up I'm done. Unless you're family. I find it much harder to get rid of them. Plus their family. No matter how badly I may wanna punch them in the fuckin throat. "Cancers do not like confrontations, and they will usually go out of their way to avoid arguments. Just like an actual crab will move sideways when it perceives danger, Cancers step aside when they can." Very true. So it can be trying at times for me since I have a volatile and emotionally crazy confrontational family. Like damn! If ya'll dont go sit your asses down somewhere.... "It takes a lot for these folks to blow up, but once they do, watch out! Perhaps this is because these natives spend so much time stifling their anger." Ahahaha!! And everyone thinks Im fuckin crazy when I do explode. And they also forget that I can have anger. My mom seriously told me the other day she hasn't seen me really lose it and that I'm so mellow and blah blah blah and how she loves that about me. Word? Talk about short term memory loss. And it also talks about how we are dependable, kind, supportive and all that fun shit. 7:50 pm - Tuesday, May. 21, 2013 *********************************************************************************** |
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