Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Raised Money Callous Jerk
At work I got my e*val or what they call review. I swear I thought I wasn't going to get a raise. I worked for this company in MI. I'm not the best sales person pushing out numbers and making people sign up for credit cards or to buy our extended warranty. It makes me feel slightly dirty since I do not believe those things are necessary. Anyway. So I go in for review and I found out I did get a raise. My first raise ever. I'm so excited. I let them know that the company in MI the way they did raises was they told us there was a good pile and a bad pile and even though I'm doing okay I'm not good enough. Because of my numbers. They told me (the WI company) that yes my numbers do need work but that I am a solid person and I do a lot of things right. Thus my raise. My brother Eleven (I think that is his fucking nickname but I can't quite remember since I don't talk about him all that often, he's 16 now) is getting on my fucking nerves. He makes me not like him. The way he acts reminds me of my sister (17). Sure he is the drug free educated version of her misery and bitterness but it is still there. He's becoming a bigger asshole than Seventeen (21) which is not good since Seventeen is known for being rude and selfish. Eleven apparently wants that title. We're planning a trip to MI for a visit in July. He refuses to take it off because he doesn't want to take off work. That is what he is claiming but honestly I think he doesn't like us. My mom said she isn't sure that she likes him being home alone. What if he decides to bring people over or something? He replied that our house isn't fit for company. I was like damn! Mom looked upset. Our house is cute and charming. Anybody who comes over and sees it loves it and wonders how we come up for our decorating schemes. We're artsy-craftsy. Its what we do. Even living in MI our siblings friends would love to hang out at our house because it was clean, smelled good, and there was always some sort of baked goodies like cupcakes hanging out in the kitchen. The nerve of Eleven. He has been acting different since he discovered rich people. He made a few friends started hanging out at their house and seeing how they live and it's like he resents us. There is nothing wrong with wanting to move up in life and better yourself. At the same time a person needs to be grateful for what they do have. We have a single mother who has a nice job. We have a nice house. She buys nice stuff. None of us can say that we've ever left the house looking scrubby or busted. She has always made sure we had nice shoes and clothes. She grew up poor with an alcoholic mother. So she made sure we were always good. And since she moved to WI for a really good job the boys all have nice things. There are TVs, tablets, and Eleven has an Iphone. So what the fuck? Just his attitude makes me not like him. He is my brother but I can't stand him. And the way he acts around us...like I said I don't think he likes us. He blames teenage hormones but I think it's deeper than that. Myself, Seventeen, and our sister got a little out of hand and hormonal growing up but we aren't as callous and cold as he. Jerk. 10:26 am - Tuesday, Jun. 11, 2013 *********************************************************************************** Smoking C Minus Bitch
Also no more "Bitch Blog" the whole reasoning behind that was so I could get my wordplay on but I'm apparently too lazy to write in this blog all the damn time. I actually planned on doing an entry a day for all of May but I didn't have the energy. I am smoking again. This time I feel strangely dirty and slightly ashamed of my habit. That makes me feel better about it because I really did want to quit but my math grade was falling to pieces. It was probably all in my head. But still. My math grade was a 64% and I raised it to a 71%. I have 2 weeks left of this class and my goal is a 78%. I fucked up too badly to get in the 90 percentile and I'm not sure if I can get a "B" but I'll be okay with a "C+" way better than the damn "D" I was looking at. And when this class is over I'll go back to a non smoker and I am excited about that. This way I'll have all summer to get my shit together so when fall classes start I won't have a cigarette as a crutch. 3:45 pm - Thursday, Jun. 06, 2013 *********************************************************************************** |
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