Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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Anger

I fucking hate my family. I swear I do.

2:57 pm - Wednesday, Jul. 13, 2011

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Bitch Ass Brother Update


So I txted my mom to see if I could go out and if she'd pay (she cnt cause shes broke)...she starts txting my brother...and then he got all up in my face talking shit like you fucking crybaby and I cant believe your running your mouth...

So then hes out drinking and laughing and bullshitting with gma...then he starts tlkin mad shit...

So I go out there and told him hes dead to me and its fucked up that your trying to make me look like Im dramatic...

And my gma just sits there and does nothing...I was like did you tell gma u threw a plate of food at me...and she was really...but like it was a type of joke...and he says he gets mad cause I cuss...and my gma just sits there...fuck theyre still out there laughing...

So I txted mom and told her I fucking hate everyone and he choked me...she doesnt respond...

So Im lookin at this like fuck me. Just fuck me cause who the fuck cares about my feelings?

And the worse part is I have no where else to go...I would go to skittles cause shes the closet but her dad keeps makin advances on me and creeps me the fuck out.

Then everyone actually wonders why I wanna jump off a fucking bridge.

10:14 pm - Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2011

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Bitch Ass Brother Sidenote


The pack of squares he claims were on the counter. He finally split them with me though. Whatever.

And my gma came home from work and she buys my brother some beer. His fave kind too. WTF?! Lets REWARD the asshole.

Smfh.

8:56 pm - Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2011

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My Bitch Ass Brother


***Oh how I hate my computer and internet for making me retype this***

My brother and I got into it last night. We got into a fight over my laptop. He uses it all the fucking time and I dont say shit. Hell half the time when I want it he wont give it up. Last night I wanted it to fix my Ipod cause he somehow fucked up my Itunes and when I charged my Ipod it got fucked up to. Then hes talking mad shit and breathing down my fucking neck like are you done yet are you done yet??

So I start talking shit how he wont get my laptop back. He gets pissed and chokes the fuck out of me. He had me in some head lock and I couldnt get out. So I went into panic mode and dug my nails in his arm hoping he'd release me. He instead squeezed harder. When he finally let me go my throat was spazing out and it was like I was choking on oxygen. It was a wheez hiccup thing I was doing.

I went to my gparents room hysterically and was like I dont want him near me. My gma comes out and my brother said he didnt choke me he just had me in a head lock. My gma starts making jokes how he cant kill me because it would be illegal for her to bury me in the backyard.

I was pissed so I slammed my bedroom door. My gma was like are you okay? Im still hysterically crying and trying to breath. But I yell out Im fucking okay! Dont fucking worry about me!

Hello? Seriously?! Do you seriously think Im okay?!?!

After that Im still trying to fix my Ipod and Im still crying. My brother comes in asking for the computer and talking mad shit like Im such a fucking crybaby. And how come I tried to get him in trouble and make him the bad guy when I wasnt the victim because I basically deserved what he did.

I told him I wasnt talking to him. And he kept coming in my room to bug me, talk shit and ask for the computer.

He finally came to apologize at like 130 in the morning and I basically told him to fuck off.

Today before my gma went to work she said some shit to go in her bedroom and thatll keep my brother away from me. Yeah okaaaaay. WTF.

We still werent talking so he came in talking about how his Ipod is going to die can he have the computer. I told him no and to charge it through the Wii like our sister does. He tried to grab it anyway and he was mad. I told him I changed the password so he cant get on. He flipped out. Then he dumped my hot ass plate of mashed potatoes I was gonna eat all over me and my bed talking about how I wanna be childish then he'll be childish.

Oh? Im childish? He CHOKES me out over MY laptop I tell him NO then he dumps a plate of mashed potatoes ALL over me but Im fucking childish?!

A few hours after that still wasnt talking to him. He tried to apologize. I said nope cause youre only doing this because youre bored and want my computer. He was like no. But I was thinking yes that and the fact our gparents are coming home.

A couple hours ago. He asked for the computer. I said no. He got pissed.

Our gpa came home bought a new pack of squares for me and my brother to split. He gives the pack to my brother.
Do you think he'd give me one? Hell no. Im like okay. Mind you earlier today I still didnt want shit to do with him, but I figured he might be out of squares so I tried to offer him one and he said no. Now the pack our gpa got, not him. So he shouldve split the damn pack. I wouldve. But whatever.

At this rate Im just so pissed. Pissed at my brother and his bullshit. Hes allowed to nit pick and fuck with everyone and we're supposed to take it. But we cant fuck with him.

Im tired of being his bitch. Tired of him verbally abusing me or putting me down. Like Im fat. Or how Im pathetic or a deadbeat because Im 22 at our gparents house (he lives here too). Or how Im stupid because I failed my first drivers test. And how I paint like shit and hes the better artist. And when I get upset he just goes suck it up phayth. Quit crying phayth. Then he'll be like can you make me a sandwich? And I do it. EVERYTIME. Hell Ill even be like would you like something to drink with your sandwich?

Bullshit. Im sick of it. But if I get mad at him, he gets violent and blame me for "pushing his buttons". Well what about my feelings? My buttons? Im done being his fucking bitch.

And quite honestly I fucking hate everyone in this household for acting like nothing is wrong. Fuck them all. If I had 60$ Id hop a train to my mothers.

8:05 pm - Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2011

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