Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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Random Computerless Enteries

My computer died on me in July. Just decided it no longer wanted part of my insanity apparently. And when you're writing your innermost thoughts, most of which are slamming some family member, then the last thing you want to do is continuously borrow their computer to do the dirty deed.

I do miss it though. Since I havent been able to write then of course all I'm itching to do is write.

I have made a few random entries on my phone. Key word is a few because thats another place where its not wise to leave behind your feelings. I was hoping that the little entries would jog what I was feeling at that time so I could better examine my feelings. But I think I'll just type out the entries and leave it at that since I wanna be quick.

WED, JULY 10:

If you are gonna be proud then be proud but dont tear anyone else down to feel proud of yourself. So if youre black and proud then be that dont tear down other races to make yourself feel proud to be black.

SUN, JULY 28:

Shes (mom) super proud that she finally made edible chicken. I told her its okay if she didnt cook it within an inch of its life. She said we were troopers for dutifully eating the charred meat.

Nothing like a 120 crayola crayon box and fresh coloring book to soothe nerves like balm.

MON, AUGUST 5:

She (mom) actually opened my mail. Again. I applied for a capitol one card and they denied me (I dont make enough) which I kinda figured. But its been years since I fucked up my credit.

Anyway. I see my letter on the microwave opened (not where my mail usually goes). She causally goes yeah I thought it was mine. Okay then. Then she goes your credit score is in the 600s. Mind you at that time I didn't know my credit score and to find the score you have to read the front then flip to the middle of the back.

What the fuck? One thing to think its yours but another to continue to read it and then forget to inform me I have mail. It pissed me off.

Another thing that pissed me off is that V has been blowing up my phone for awhile to pay back that phone bill. The 1500$ phone bill that my family fucked me over one. But let me not dare bring that up because Id somehow be in the wrong.

MON, AUGUST 5:

I think I just had a break down today.

I just cant. I cant. I cant.

Gotta bail.

2:49 pm - Wednesday, Aug. 28, 2013

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Past Fuck Ups - Future Lessons