Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Sequined Cows & Google Tabs
Soooooooooooo......Ill get to it. Ended up somehow (you know when you end up 20 googles deep and have no fuckin clue how you got there and how half this shit never existed to you before? on the FML website (along-with-10-other-random-tabs-open-since-I-have-ADD-I-get-distracted-and-if-it-catches-my-eye-I-open-a-new-tab-to-remember-to-go-back-to-it-otherwise-itll-be-3-months-later-and-Im-trying-to-find-cyber-breadcrumbs-to-backtrack-because-I-just-NEED-to-know-what-that-fucking-stupid-web-page-was-all-about-because-it-could-have-potentially-been-LIFE-CHANGING-when-in-reality-itd-be-about-how-to-farm-sequined-cows-and-how-people-in-jersey-shore-get-so-orange-and-not-notice-that-orange-isnt-a-natural-color-and-how-our-fucking-healthcare-sucks-knitting-an-awesome-sweater-because-I-hate-knitting-and-the-perfect-pie-crust) where people submit stories that get voted on. This one made me tip over from laughing. Tip. Over. Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML I can only imagine that scenario. That is such a weird? gusty? fucked up? thing for the mom to do. Like who the fuck does that? Poor kid. Probably lots of emotional scarring but super funny for the rest of us. 9:04 pm - Thursday, Jun. 19, 2014 *********************************************************************************** Whipped Liquid Crack & Marley White Screen Seuss
I. Am. So. OVER. This. Shit. Also did my hair for the first time in marley twists last night. What an interesting experience. They look decent from the front, tragically horrible from the back. The back is kind of hard to install marley hair. But it was my first time working fake hair and doing this shit myself so I am proud. Plus the hair I bought looks sort of like yarn to me. It also feels scratchy and my neck has a slight rash to it. So Ive been wearing it up in a bun so far. I do like the style and so does my mom. My younger brothers are weirded out slightly because we're not the type of family to have fake hair and shit like that posted around the house. Tomorrow since it is my birthday month my mom is taking me to an actual beauty salon and she'll buy more hair. So we can re-do it and she'll help me reinstall them in the back. Today we went shopping for a bit. The funny highlight to me was while in starbucks my mom decides for the first time to get her own frap. She was all like I have no idea what to get. I dont understand these orders. So the guy actually starts giving my mom tips and pointing things out in the menu. It was really funny. She orders and after she pays she exclaims I finally lost my virginity! I almost tipped over from the laughter. She was quite buzzy the whole shopping trip. She kept going no wonder people buy these, its like crack! Yes liquid crack with whipped cream on top. I dont understand how people can say no. Also last night my fucking ipod died. I swear every 2-3 years I have to buy a new one. I wished they lasted just a little longer. Jeepers. Anyway I was listening to it as I was installing my marley twists and this white screen came up. I go to google it and when I put in "ipod nano white screen" I got "of death". Soooooooooooo. I take it my ipod cant be fixed? Fuck my life. But I wanted to upgrade anyway so I guess this happened for a reason. I think the ipod nanos that they have out now are ugly as fuck. So I think Im going old school and just buying a black classic ipod. And I think I might get it through the website to have it engraved with a Dr.Seuss quote. Just because I fucking love Dr. Seuss. 3:30 pm - Thursday, Jun. 19, 2014 *********************************************************************************** |
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