Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Creeper Beatdowns
I went for a walk and the road by the elementary school was empty. It was dark, like 945 pm. No big deal. Until this white guy in shorts and a backwards baseball cap comes walking super fast out of the parking lot and heads my way. Normally when youre walking people dont walk right up on you especially if you are the only one on the road. I mean even if they want on your side of the road theyll go on the other side until they by pass you because no one wants to be a total creeper. He was a total creeper with his hand in his pocket. He came within a foot away from me and his hand closest to me was in his pocket. I was slightly freaked out and I didnt want to make any sudden movements but I fully expected when he passed me for his hidden hand to pull out a weapon and get me. He passed. I took a few deep breathes and kept walking, occasionally turning around. So the next day on Thursday I tell my mom who was like I should have had my cell phone on me. Well I did but it was in my pocket but I didnt wanna make any sudden movements. She then said I was basically stupid because my phone should have been in my hand. What good would that have done? If he was going to pump lead in my stomach or head how would having my phone in my hand help? I would still have to unlock and dial it, by then I could be dead. Same with if he took out a shank and gutted me. The phone would have been useless. So when I saw Seventeen (22) I told him the exact same story. He said I was basically stupid and I shouldnt have been walking out that late. It was 945 to 1015, that isnt exactly late to me. Then my mom jumps in and sides with Seventeen and because Im a girl I shouldnt be out that late and shit. That irritated me. Why should I hide because there are crazy people out there and Im a chick? Seventeen was saying it wouldnt bother him because hes a guy. I cant stand double standards. Why should I act a certain way because I am a girl? That fact doesnt take away that that crazy person who was probably up to no good could have been doing bad at any hour. Why should I be punished? Before this I have never had any problems walking or running late in this neighborhood. Its a quiet suburb. Then we started talking about how mood swingy and mean I am. *Sigh* I know I am crazy. I know I have emotional issues. I fully admit this. Not only on here but out loud to my family who always look surprise when I agree that I am an emotional rollercoaster. At the same time I hate how they make me out to be an emotional terrorist. They talk about how I give them "evil" looks and how Im always giving them like a silent treatment and stuff. My thing is I look at Seventeen and my mother as my bullies. I cant really express myself around them so I shut down. I dont mean to give the silent treatment I just withdraw within myself when any confrontation among them can happen. They give me anxiety. Then Seventeen was all like Im physically mean and Im always trying to physically fight him. Excuse you? This is the same kid who used to choke the shit out of me for fun, because he was mad, or because I wouldnt give him like 5$ or something. He has treated me as his personal punching bag multiple times in my life in a rage, but I am the one who initiates all the fucking beatdowns? I told him his hands wasnt exactly clean and he shouldnt mention anything about anyone beating someone up. I wanted to go further, but I shut down. They give me anxiety. 10:25 pm - Friday, May. 23, 2014 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Dem Working My Nerve Bitches
I get a voice mail from my HR with this weird tone telling me I need to make sure I come in this Tuesday to work my shift. What the fuck? When have I EVER done a NO CALL NO SHOW in my entire life?! Never. So if I am scheduled for Tuesday then I will work on Tuesday. I had mentioned to this girl on Saturday that I thought it was funny that she was taking my NEXT Tuesday because they decided not to schedule me. So basically this chick gets with the HR and whomever else to sit around talking about me and then people wanna act like I dont show up for work. I was pissed. And Im sick of training new people. Quit it. Ive made it clear that I dont like it and they keep giving me new people to train. But they like to act like I don't show up for work or I don't do my end so they keep chopping my hours. Ugh. They can go fuck themselves. I didn't bother calling her back that I was going to work yesterday. I just showed up at my job at the correct time. She was all like didnt you get my message? Uh, yeah and I didn't think it was worthy of a response since I always show up for my shift. These bitches I swear. 7:23 pm - Wednesday, May. 21, 2014 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: The Body Exhibit
Have today off. Since working retail it feels like a treat to not work at all on the weekend. Feels really good. Sometimes I cant stand my fucking job. 3:26 pm - Sunday, May. 18, 2014 *********************************************************************************** Bitch Blog: Sex Grown Up Overseas
Looking into master programs for a sexologist. I could go over seas. That slightly freaks me out. Living in a foreign country and trying to do school seems like my brain would implode. But I do need to find a school to go to. Ive got a year on my bachelors soooooooo....you know. Ugh. Being a grown up sucks. 6:40 pm - Friday, May. 16, 2014 *********************************************************************************** |
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