Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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Dreams With KitKat N Skittles

Wrd of the day: Querulous- habitually complaining; also, expressing complaint.

K...I had the weirdest dream last night...it nvolved 2 ppl i dnt tlk to anymore...my old chick friend L n my ex A...it was weird...i woke up like wtf...depressed...n just weird...

An old friend kitkat contacted me today...the last time i tlked to her was 2 yrs ago n i chewed her out...basically told her she was the monkey on my back n if i left her there we would both drown...

She told me shes doin good...I told skittles cuz me n her used to party with kitkat n skittles got a lil weird...

Phaythles: Hey muffin wanna hear something wild? Kitkat contacted me...she still lives n that house...they just had it remodeled...n she has blonde hair n shes datin this guy named jay for 6 mnths...

Skittles: Nice...I guess lol

Phaythles: Riiiiiight...it was a lil weird...cuz she kept IMin me...n at first she wouldnt tell me who she was...then we were tlkin n she was tellin me bout her n how she missed me n she wasnt tryin to b friends cuz how the last time i tlked to her i basically chewed her out...

Skittles: Yea well if u wanna be her friend w/e but i really cant go bck to that life but me n her were never more than prty friends if thats what u wnna call it

Phaythles: Uhhhh chillllll out...never said we'll be friends...that phase of my life is over too...do i miss it? Yeah sometimes...would i go back? No i got too much shit that needs to b done that i cnt b high all the damn time...i mean i miss her cuz i was friends with her for a few yrs...but idk...

Guess Im not surprised tho cuz those 2 NEVER really got along...so i guess we'll just see what happens...idk...

Also finally saw 7 pounds today...fuckin au'sum n i cried...lol...used to pride myself on never cryin...but i keep gettin these sad ass movies...haha...

9:58 pm - Friday, May. 15, 2009

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Snaps for Vxxen...

Vxxen wrote a lil poem...yes i call it a poem...n she seemed a lil shy bout it...took me FOREVER to get her to post the shit...so this lil shout out is to tell u vxxen that u did good! Loved it...

12:28 am - Friday, May. 15, 2009

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BrOkEn Fam...we're made of glass...

This is what has been shakin on my end of the wrld...

I changed my profile...again...i swear im the only person round these parts who changes it all the time...i just get bored with it after awhile...

My bro seventeen got suspended again...my mother is not happy...theyre currently not tlkin...so ive been the messager btween them both...lets just say that gets annoying...

And my bro now needs to go to summer/night school cuz of all the absents n the suspensions his ass is now credits short frm passin this semester...

Either that or he basically becomes a super senior...

It costs like $950 for summer/night school...

My vote is for the super senior...

He i guess wlks round the high school with a lot of pride n acts like ppl should bow down to him...kinda like hes a senior but hes not...hes a jr...but i guess i cnt really blame him...he goes to an all white school...hes been battling them since 9th grade...n even though i havent gone to the high school hes goin too...ive been to an all white school out n the stix...n there they hate u cuz ur blk n they hate u more when they find out ur moms white...hatin that she didnt 'stick with her kind'...but considerin the fact she fucked a human...

She stayed within her 'kind'...assholes...*sighs*...

But he does have a VERY inflated view bout himself...n even though hes younger than me...he acts like hes my older brother/dad...hes a pain n the ass n hes got a pretty good size chip on his shoulder...they keep tellin me my pride will b my downfall...his will kill him...

Oh my bro twelve got a detention...

Yeah we're doin great round these parts arent we...no wonder my mom is spazin out thinkin shes a bad parent...

Shes not...but she is a single parent...which means she can only do so much...n we kinda just do us...i guess...i dnt kno...i kno im gettin blamed for some of this shit because as the eldest im basically a deadbeat i guess n they look up to me n im doin nuthin with my life...

Same argument...different times...

And I guess im not spendin enough time with my sis thirteen...seventeen has my moms back...hes also got my back...n he has the other brothers back...to make them toe the line or some shit...i only have my moms back n seventeens back...n since theyre more kids then me n seventeen thats not good enough...

Ummm...

*sighs* I dnt kno...i try...i really do...wtf do i say to her...when i hang with her shes really negative...a pain n the ass...shes full of piss n vinger...n thats my fault because i dnt take time outta my day to hang with her n b a sister so this is why shes actin like this...

Im so fuckin stressed out...i mean im stressed at home...stressed at wrk...cnt leave my job cuz our economy blows n the only thing keepin my lil town afloat is fuckin canadians...not makin enough to leave my fuckin house...im stuck n im lost n i dnt kno wtf to do...i wish i could start over...fix my mistakes...i used to pride myself on not makin the same mistakes twice...but i keep fuckin up n it feels like im here every other fuckin wk...

Ugh...no point n livin n the past....it wnt help me...

12:03 am - Friday, May. 15, 2009

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