Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Fuckin Wrk N Skittles Is it wrong of me not to wanna tlk to skittles for awhile...shiiiit...that girl kept blowin up my phone today n i was like i dnt wanna tlk to u...im full of mixed up feelings n my damn brain hurts cause of all that fuckin homewrk...i need SPACE...n lots of it... N im so mad at my damn wrk...we finally get to do the whole take ur child to wrk day...n i signed up my bro seven...they said that was fine n shit...then my one manager purposely didnt put me on the schedule for tomorrow cause he said seven aint mine...wtf...seriously...do u kno how many other fuckin cowrkers arent bringin they own damn children...wtf...ugh...seven is so dissapointed i feel bad... Fuckin wrk... 11:48 pm - Wednesday, Apr. 22, 2009 *********************************************************************************** Failed Squares I am such a fuckin failure... I went n bought a pack of squares...n strangely...im not excited...i just wanna cry...but i went n got em anyway...dnt even know why...i was cravin em but i wasnt thinkin bout smokin... So i go n walk down to the corner store...the whole way there...im just like...turn round...turn round...go back home...go back home... But i didnt... So...im at the store n im waitin forever n line...once again im like...just go home...u dnt need to fuckin smoke...ur good...remember u REALLY wanna quit... But i stayed n line... Then i get n2 it w/the cashier...the thing i cnt stand bout corner stores is that they never update theyre whole 'u cnt buy b4 this date'...the sign said 1988...so she was all like... u arent 18 yes i am...hun im almost 20...ur sign should actually b 1991... yeah sure...but according to my sign ur not legal to buy these... hun...seriously...take out a freakin calculator if u cnt do the math n ur head...im almost fuckin 20... well u dnt have to get all rude w/me...i have the right to not sell these to u... I sigh...listen...im tryin not to b rude here...but...dnt get an attitude w/me cause ya'll cnt keep ur freakin signs updated... She whips out a calculator n the 20 minutes it took her to figure out the whole age thing...im like i dnt even fuckin want these...im just like i should be fuck it bitch ill go elsewhere... But i didnt...n i have no idea why...cause even if i wanted those damn squares that badly...i also have gas stations n shit to go...i didnt have to buy frm her... Mayb i wanted to be abused...like why am i here? I dnt wanna smoke... Anyway i get my squares...n im walkin away thinkin...i dnt wanna open these...n then i start pickin my own brain...why the fuck did i buy em if i really dnt want the damn things... So then i thought ill feel better if i smoke one...so instead of goin home(where i cnt smoke there anyways) i go towards the water to my fave spot to think...n im smokin...quite slowly n nfact im lettin the damn thing burn mostly... *sighs* Im still tryin to figure why i got em... 8:03 pm - Wednesday, Apr. 22, 2009 *********************************************************************************** Meds N Squares N Random lol...i feel bad my bro seventeen...he asked me if mom took her meds today...she has a habit of thinkin she feels better so she dnt need em... She feels that way cause shes a pharm n shes got a med background...we keep tellin her...her ass is not a doc...so she needs to stop suddenly not takin em... So i told him she thinks she forgot...he was like i can tell...she was trippin over nuthin... So then im like...dnt u feel great? u got a mom who hasnt taken her meds today n ur sis is tryin to quit smokin... He just looked at me n was like i hate my life...lol... 1:31 am - Wednesday, Apr. 22, 2009 *********************************************************************************** Squares N Skittles Ugh...i quit smokin...n all i wanna do is pace round n i wanna go n buy a pack...cause all im thinkin are they smell good n taste good n...UGH FUCK...but i cnt...*sighs*... I. Want. A. Fuckin. Square. Now. Mayb cold turkey isnt so good...but idk...anyway we're so gettin off that topic b4 i run out my house n buy me a pack...UGH!!! K...me n my friend got all those papers done...well i got all those fuckin papers done...i told her how she made me feel like i was used...like why doesnt she get her shit together n do her fuckin papers...i get she has a kid...but...damn that dnt mean shit...i told her shes usin me as a crutch...so we hashed shit out... She told me she doesnt wanna use me n she feels awful that i feel used...but she says everytime she wants to sit down n do a paper her fam wnt watch her baby or theyre all like just go get phayth(me)...n i get where shes comin frm...cause i dnt get how her fam wnt help...it should b an advantage to live w/ur mom n dad n sis...that way theyre there to help w/the baby...they dnt...nstead they bitch n moan n guilt trip her cause shes not w/her baby 24/7...n then they bitch cause her grades arent what theyre posed to b...n they want her to wrk more so they can suck out her paycheck... *sighs*...anyway...so we tlked...told her ass next semester...take easy classes n take 3 days off of wrk each wk...tell em theyre for school...so go to school mon n wed but on fri kick round ur house... so...thought we hashed shit out...figured we were straight...didnt mind doin the last english paper...omfg...was she like make sure its perfect n i need a good grade...n u did the outline wrong...what do u mean u only used 2 sources...wheres the source page...are these seriously ur notes...anyway im goin to bed so i hope u remember to fix this shit... Bitch! If u want this shit perfect...do it ur damnself...why didnt u fix the fuckin outline...(i didnt have time)...u've been sittin round for a fuckin hr...who the fuck cares i only used 2 motherfuckin sources...like ur teacher shouldnt bitch...at least i quoted some-damn-body... Then i told her i didnt wanna c her ass for awhile...then she got offended...so i was like i need a break but we're still cool...just...no more fuckin homewrk...ugh!...this is too much to do w/out nicotine...but i dnt wanna smoke...n tlkin bout it doesnt help...hmmm...i could go for one but i dnt wanna pack...ugh!! Oh n it prolly doesnt help im babysittin my badass sibs...so yeah...i totally wanna fuck em up...fuckin kids... Anyways... Not only am i crazy...n a dork...im also random...which fits...lol...i feel like i get to discover more of myself thru ya'll...lmfao... 7:45 pm - Tuesday, Apr. 21, 2009 *********************************************************************************** My Sappy Shoutouts... This isnt really an entry...more like a shoutout page...so shoutout too: Vxxen: bout damn time i gave ur ass a shoutout back due to the fact u gave me a shout out FOREVER ago...but u crack me up...n u also put shit n a hood perspective(not sayin ur hood)...but its the girl this...n the shiiiit that...that keeps me crackin up n keepin my ass n check...haha...cause im like damn ur riiiight...so thanx... Silentpoetry: hi!!...dorks MUST unite! lol...which is nice...i mean how many ppl can u have a convo bout books n poetry n shit like that...well prolly a lot...but...how many COOL ppl can u have that convo with? Not many...lol...n i also appreciate ur wrds of wisdom...cause u make me seem like im not totally crazy...so thanx... 10:41 am - Sunday, Apr. 19, 2009 *********************************************************************************** |
||||||
|
||||||