Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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Lovingly Psychotic Violations(poem)

I punish myself again and again
Cutting myself
Was a way to make up sins
to heal the pain
I inflict upon others

I keep gettin these moments
Where Im so broken down
My ass pressed firmly to the ground
The shame is so deep
I feel I have no more room to fall
Yet I let you continue

When you touch my skin
It burns from within
As you stroke me down
I cringe
Crawl inside my head
Scared to make a sound

But your violation fulfills me
Warms me through out
Im holdin on
Cause even when this violation hurts me
I know Ive done myself worse

I just wanna cut my skin
to burn my sin
and feel again
Why is that so wrong

Im so lost inside myself
And no one wants to hear my cry
When my worthless tears
Fall out my shallow eyes

Im alone as Im surrounded by people
Im alone in my thoughts
For even my little voices
Abandoned the need to teach me
How to self destruct
Guess Im doin well enough
On my own

Im slightly psychotic
In my neediness to feel loved
But I guess thats why Im with you
You've had no problem takin full advantage of that

12:24 am - Monday, Mar. 30, 2009

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Past Fuck Ups - Future Lessons