Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Corruptin Spicy W/Toys & Grn M&M At wrk on tues my one manager...manager A told Spicy that she needs to watch how much she hangs out with me cuz ill corrupt her...and i will admit that hurt my feelings...i was a lil blown away...how the hell do i corrupt ppl? i kno sometimes i tlk bout it but i dnt acutally do it...Starburst said i was basically a good girl i dnt corrupt ppl...im not bad...and cupcake said i couldnt corrupt spicy...cuz it was spicy... Then grn m&m got on my nerves...she basically chewed me out nfront of these guests cuz i asked for a void and i shouldnt have done what i did... But i didnt do anything wrong...and then she told me i needed to watch my attitude round her...she wears her management title like a badge... But she needs to realize im not scared to step to her...and the whole damn store thinks shes an idiot who doesnt do her job...they were burnin her ass the other day...but i was wonderin wtf do they really think of me? Anyway this is a txt btween me and spicy...does it sound like im tryin to corrupt the girl? Spicy: Hey it sucks when ur havin a good day and it goes to shit know what i mean Phaythles: Uhh yeah...what happened? Spicy: Just seen a pic of the girl he was cheatin on me with Phaythles: The old guy or the new guy? Was she like wicked hot or sumthin? Spicy: Old one gross Phaythles: Oh okay...glad it wasnt the new guy...dnt let it get to u...guys for sum fucked up reason like to downgrade...just b like im hot so fuck off...haha Spicy: Lol right right Phaythles: Girl u kno i am...and if he wasnt that good n bed then he loses more points... Spicy: Lol right right Phaythles: See there? U aint got nuthin to wrry bout...fuck him he aint worth the time... Phaythles: So go have sum hot monkey sex w/the new guy...haha Spicy: Lol your right I am too good for him Phaythles: U sure are...dnt forget that...ur my special spicy pepper...haha...u deserve better... Spicy: I love u Phaythles: Awww i luv u too...we ppls... 10:23 pm - Wednesday, Mar. 25, 2009 *********************************************************************************** All The Others Had(poem) All I want is for you to forgive me 10:21 pm - Wednesday, Mar. 25, 2009 *********************************************************************************** CrAcKeD souls/warm & fuzzys ****i discovered i was wrong & these ppl r my actual fam...the guy i mentioned is my moms real dad...so i feel this makes everything better....**** Ummm I discovered I have nother fam...one that isnt crazy/drunk/bitter....these ppl luv u no matter what...they give me warm n fuzzy feelings and i dnt even really kno them... theyre fam...but not blood related...i guess my gma(my moms mom) married this guy...and well my mom calls him dad...and thru him shes got nother mom and two sisters... The one sister was txtin me the other day(my fam gives out my cell number often cuz im the only one w/a cell)...and i told her she made me feel all warm n fuzzy... I guess we're posed to go and vist them this summer...that should b cool...it just feels good to have fam members bsides my sibs and my mom that will have ur back and always luv u...we call that feelin the 'gma baking sugar coookies'...ya kno where u just feel safe and content... and i dnt actually have that w/my real gma...shes a drunk and covered n tatoos...cnt stand me or my sibs cuz we're half blk(shes white and slightly redneck)...when i used to live w/her she'd tell me i was worthless and ill never amount to anything and i ruined her life...no one wanted me and no one would ever love me... riiiight...i used to live w/her on and off frm when i was 10-16...even now when i fuck up...its her voice n my head tellin me ill always b a failure... so...it just feels nice...that these ppl who havent seen me since i was 3...give me the good gma feelin...make me feel good...and i dnt even kno them... but im really glad for my mom...cuz even though i lived w/my gma for a few yrs...my mom had a lifetime and a childhood of that shit...and my gmas still hatin on her now...just for bein pretty...and bein a girl...and havin biracial children...and thats gotta hurt so much...so im happy that she reconnected w/this other fam... And mayb theyll help heal whats cracked inside us all... 11:33 pm - Saturday, Mar. 21, 2009 *********************************************************************************** DySfUnCtIoNaL Dirty Jokes UGH!!! I had an au'sum day at wrk...I laughed so fuckin hard...Kermet(i gave him the wrong nickname hes not ernie haha) was the closin manager...and I wrked w/Irish and Spicy(cowrker, female)....and I will say we're a bunch of twisted/crazy/slightly sick ppl...kermet called us his bitches...his african bitch(me)....his south of the border bitch(spicy) and his canadain bitch(Irish)...haha...totally sounds racist but we're all cool like that...me and spicy kept makin racial jokes and we all kept tellin dirty jokes and shit...it was FUNNY!!! But then I get home...which at first was cool...but then my bro...we're gonna call him seventeen...gets into w/our mom...like fuckin always...we'll all be chillin and laughin and shit...and then they gotta go toe to toe...he claims we put too much pressure on him cuz hes the oldest boy... We dnt...but my mom feels since he does wrk and he doesnt help out round the house...doesnt babysit...doesnt pay bills...BUT always has ppl over and shit...the least he could do is chip n a bit...he is after all seventeen... He think hes independent...without realizin hes dependent... *Sighs* Im just tired of bein dysfunctional... 12:25 am - Friday, Mar. 20, 2009 *********************************************************************************** |
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