Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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Moms Surgery. Annoying Numbers. Job Hunting. (WI)


Today is the day our mom has surgery. Im a positive thinker so I feel she is going to do well but I am nervous. Theyre getting rid of her uterus and its a major surgery.

Im also upset with my brothers, especially Seventeen (24). Triflin ass.

Mom wanted someone in the waiting room while she had surgery. For moral support and to make sure she made it through okay. Originally Seventeen and Eleven (19) were supposed to drive her and wait around. I guess they didnt realize they were supposed to wait. Seventeen and Eleven thought they were dumping her at the curb and coming back later.

Dafuq?

It was basically supposed to be those two so I could be at home and get the younger two up for school and such while mom was in surgery. So because there was wait time Seventeen's bitch ass decides hes not getting up at all. I didnt realize that until I tried to wake him at at 445am and he got pissy with me. If I would have known he wasnt going to go then I would have had him deal with the younger two and I could have went to the hospital. Eleven though did go, he just brought his homework and such.

We have one parent. Yeah we all butt heads and some days I cant stand her but she is it. We have one. If she goes down our whole fucking household collapses. Its her. She is the only true adulting adult in this place. Financially she makes more than all of us. As a mom her knowledge of stuff, especially when someone gets sick, is far more extensive than any of ours. She is the captain of our ship and I find it disrespectful that Seventeen decided not to go because he couldnt just drop her off at the hospital doors. It's the buddy system. He could have kept Eleven company. Seventeen could have also worked on his homework. Instead he became selfish and only thought of himself. And it irks me that he did this last minute when we have all been talking about this for weeks now.

Anyway.

Ive been job hunting. Not to the level at which I am qualified for. Apparently it is much harder than I thought to get a grown up job here in WI.

But I have been job hunting.

Ive had a total of 5 interviews. I felt for a while like the runaway bride for jobs. I would get an interview, get hired, and then turn them down based off of vibes.

The first one I did I got the job the next day. Went to fill out paperwork and such and decided after that day I was no longer coming back. I didnt like the vibe. It felt very standoffish and cliquish. It was a smaller company and I felt that I was interfering or something. I have never felt that way before and I thought I was crazy. I talked it out with my mom and like 2 days after that paperwork day I called and quit. It was awkward. She didnt want to let me go. She even offered to be more flexible so I could work another job. Ugh, it was awkward.

The second job was weird. The guy literally forgot he scheduled me for an interview. He was surprised to find me in his little lobby. Then during the interview he was either looking at his phone, checking out the live security feed, or barely glancing at me. He would ask me questions but it felt like he was barely invested in them. When he discovered I had a degree in psychology he wanted to know if I could read minds (I cant). He looked a little disappointed. I told him psychology meant that I had a better understanding with people and how they work but I wasnt a psychic. One part he was asking about creativity. I am an artsy craftsy person so I explained that. He took it as I should redecorate his office. It was nowhere in the job description but he felt I should somehow also find time to brighten up his office. I think he wanted new poster board signs, curtains, it to be more organized, blah blah blah. Basically go "female" on his office. Strangely enough I got the job at the end of the interview and I was to return the next day for training (and if he remembered he would be there but if not he would write instructions for someone else on what to do with me). It paid slightly less than job #1 but I was okay with that. Until I got home and realized I didnt have it in me to deal with this guy. So the next morning hours before I was supposed to show up I called and quit. I felt incredibly relieved.

Job #3 I was actually excited about. I kind of wanted to work for this company. The lady who interviewed me though was weird. I dont know if she just didnt have enough experience or what. The company has this tiny backroom where they have their office, lunch/locker space, and their inventory all in the same area. The office had a door that could be shut but instead she had my chair in the doorway and her chair in the office, basically no privacy for the interview. I thought that was odd especially since she had a regular employee/coworker/peer who was on lunch/break literally sitting behind me. Ummm, okay. Not only that but every time another employee would come back there she would stop and talk to them. Not even super important I need to deliver this message but like shooting the shit...in the middle of my interview. Even the way she spoke to me was a little odd and occasionally she would speak over me. Or if I gave an anecdote to a question she would almost one up me. But I got the job later that day and they paid more than job #1. I go in a week later to get paperwork filed and training and it was just a weird feeling. Especially when they kept mentioning how there was another Phaythles and how awesome this Phaythles was. I got the feeling that I should apologize for having the same damn name. I have no problem being known as Phaythles 2, or Phayth, or even just P for fucks sake. Im flexible. I didnt like their vibe. The next day I called to quit. I explained to the girl on the phone that I was the new Phaythles and that I was quitting. The call disconnected after I said "I quit". So Im pretty sure she hung up on me. It made me realize that I made the right decision. That was that until a week later when my interview girl called me and left me a voicemail giving me my full on training schedule. I had to call her back and explained that I quit a week ago. That was awkward as fuck. I dont think either her nor I have ever experienced something quite like that.

Job #4 was also another place I was excited to work at. That interview was weird as fuck as well. I think as soon as he saw me he wasnt going to give me the job. The interview lasted only 10 minutes (if that). He barely asked me any questions. In fact the form where all the questions and little boxes to fill in the answers were on his desk and he didnt touch them. He instead doodled on this piece of paper to kill enough time as to not be rude I guess. He was this slight little man with black tinged teeth. So when I got the email the next day that I wasn't hired I really, truly wasnt surprised. My (white) mom felt that it was racially motivated since there literally are no black/brown/red/yellow people working at this place. On my resume I live in a mostly white suburb, have a college degree and my name is racially ambiguous (Ive seen/meet white/black/Mexicans/Middle Easterns/etc with my name) and I dont necessarily sound "black" when I speak so my mom figures the company assumed my ass was white. She wanted to call and cuss someone out. I told her to leave it. The way I see it the LAST thing I want to do is work for someone who may or may not like me because I have a rich brown tan.

Job #5 was a random application. They werent really on my radar but I figured I needed a job since we were coming into the holiday season. I go in for the interview and it was great. I really vibed off this guy. He used to live in MI so he recognized some of the places off my resume, I told him we were people and he laughed. He said he has been having issues with people not showing up of basically giving themselves too many personal days off. I assured him I wasnt like that and it wasnt how I was raised. With my entire family if we are scheduled or supposed to be at work that day, we are at work that day. Our mom made sure we had home training. He laughed and said he liked my mom. We chatted some more. He got all serious and damn near whispered asked if I had any felonies. Umm, no. Our mom would not appreciate if we went around knocking down banks. He laughed again, once again said he liked my mom. Part of me was glad and the other part had me questioning like what type of people work(ed) here that hes worried about no calls/personal days and felonies???? After about 10 minutes or so he hired me on the spot (pending my clear ass background check) and said he liked me. I had good energy. He liked the vibe and he truly felt I would be a great fit for his company and that I would like it there. Also out of all the jobs it paid the most. I havent started the paperwork/training yet (that would be Monday) but I really dont see an issue with this place. It gave me the vibe I was looking for.

It was hilarious to me (and my family) that I was going on all these interviews and then turning jobs down. Seventeen joked that he was just going to start interviewing at random places to turn them down for an ego boost. Hah. Not like I meant for the ego boost affect to happen, although it did feel good that I nailed 4/5 interviews. It did put a little pep in my step.

5:17 am - Wednesday, Oct. 05, 2016

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