Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire *********************************************************************************** Unemployed Drunk Baby
It just sucks. And Im not quite sure whats wrong with me. Its a blow to my ego. I either get a rejection right out or I never hear back from them. And its not like Im shooting for the stars or anything. I literally make sure I hit all the requirements. Hell there have been quite a few that didnt require a degree or anything special and I still havent heard jack shit. The one job I did interview for I really thought I nailed it. I thought me and the lady had a connection. When I got the rejection email I fucking cried. I didnt expect it at all. This other job I applied to on a whim. I seriously didnt think Id get it cause I was iffy about the qualifications. I literally got an email from the lady in a matter of days. We emailed back and forth a few times and she gave me an interview. It was for a Pre K teacher (the only teaching job I applied to). I mean I applied in the middle of the night but the more I thought about it the more it warmed up on me. Like I could totally hang out with kids all day teaching them to write letters and sing songs and blah blah. I however fucked up by misjudging the distance. I thought it was the next town over. It was two towns over. I dont have a car. The buses dont really run that way. It would have cost 40$ a day in Uber. I had to turn it down before the interview. I didnt want to tell her I was a bum and said that I had so much homework to do and I was so sorry but hopefully we can keep in touch and sometime down the future I could work with them. She wished me luck and even offered me part time or substitution if it suited me which I thought was sweet. --------------------------------------------------- My sister had a baby. He is the cutest thing ever. I was actually out there when she had him. She was admitted on Mon (4/25). I spent the night with her. She was in labor for a while. She said she couldnt really get comfortable at all. I relaxed in a recliner and fell asleep. Not too great of a sleep cause I kept waking up every few hours. Its weird to sleep in strange places for me. Thirteen (20) said I slept really well though cause I was snoring a few times. Hah. Tues (4/26) is when she had him. At night. He just wasnt budging. The doc told her she could wait another hour or have a C section. Gma was all like have a C section and just get it over with. Thirteen was all like I need to call mom and ask her. Im like whatever. Our Gma was pissed and started acting passive aggressive because her and mom are in some strange pissing contest. I go change in my sweats cause I was spending another night. I get out of bathroom and Gma was all like are you going in with her when she gets a C section (they only allow one person)? I said yeah sure (cause earlier Gma was talking about how she didnt want to see Thirteen get cut open and blah blah). Shit you not this lady got angry and was like then I fucking need to go home then. Im not fucking needed. This is bullshit cause Ive been with her this whole fucking process and now Im being pushed aside. Umm, okay. So I was like then you can go and I can stay in her little suite. Gma was still upset. Thirteen was like the fuck is your problem?? Nurses come in and ask. Thirteen says Gma. Gma then gets upset cause she does NOT want to be in that room. Shes literally mumbling and talking shit under her breath. Me and Thirteen ignore her. Im thinking my fucking family is crazy. Its go time. Thirteen gets wheeled in. They come for Gma a short time later (who literally bitched up until the last moment) and I paced. It was quiet cause we were the only ones around. Around 840/845 ish I hear a baby scream/wail and almost tip over cause I know its my nephew. I seriously felt like a woozy expectant dad. Finally after fucking forever they bring him in. Gma is holding him (shes doing skin to skin while Thirteen gets stapled) and hes crying like he is pissed. Apparently he was facing up instead of down and he had his face pressed against her pelvic bone. Basically he would never have come out naturally according to the doctor. Thank goodness we have proper medical care. If this was a third world country or even 15/20 years ago things could have gone left for my sister. Gma eventually leaves. Mom called a dozen times. I guess one time when she called Thirteen it went straight to voice mail. I was tired as shit when she texted me and I was like maybe Thirteen hit ignore cause she was taking pictures or cause the nurse is in or something. Mom gets upset. Like seriously passive aggressively upset. I stopped responding because I truly didnt have the energy for this shit and Im thinking the women in my family are fucking bonkers. Thirteen actually never received the call. The hospital where we were at in MI would pick up Canada. We would randomly get messages we were roaming. Then we would lose service. Then it would go back to normal. Had to explain that to moms emotional ass. Wed (4/27) I stayed for a while but I went back to Gmas that night. I had homework. I needed a shower. I ran out of clean panties. I needed to face plant. I seriously thought we would have been back to Gmas on Wed. That night in order for Thirteen to have the baby in her room she needed to be unhooked for her IV and pain stuff. I felt like such a wench. Before I left her one friend said she would stay the night but she never came back. The nurses made it clear they really didnt want to keep the baby in the nursery all night and that since Thirteen had the baby she needed to care for the baby. When I found out she got unhooked from everything I got all weepy. I felt like I abandoned her and I didnt mean too. She had just got gutted the night before and already had to just suck it up. Thurs (4/28). Me and Gma were back and hanging out a bit. It would be the last time I would be able to see my sister and my nephew cause I was back on the train early Fri to go back to WI. We basically left at 5 cause Gma didnt like the fact that I was helping Thirteen change and feed the baby. She felt Thirteen needed to do these things herself. I was trying to explain that Thirteen just had fucking surgery and was really sore and Gma was basically too bad and that Thirteen needed to suck it up and fend for herself. Once again Im thinking these bitches in my family. ---------------------------------------------------- For myself. I decided not to move back to MI. It was nice to visit but I feel like I matured past Gma. I thought I could handle it but if I had to live with that woman we would butt heads. Plus with no wheels it would be hard to find a job. I was hoping that I would be able to use their wheels or get a ride but I definitely didnt get that vibe. I do want to move out of moms house. Especially since Seventeen (24) is moving back in. There is just way too many of us. We've been getting along and shit. Hell they all missed me and realized what an asset I was when I was gone the 2 weeks. I would like a job so I can get a little place. I would like to get a 2 bedroom so Thirteen could live with me. Ill help with the baby. I figured I could work morning shift and then she could work part time during the evening. Not enough to make rent but enough to do little things for her and the baby. So Im going to stay positive and hope that I get employed soonish and maybe by July I could have my own place and Thirteen could come out here (she currently lives with Gma the crazy cat drunk lady). 9:02 pm - Tuesday, May. 10, 2016 *********************************************************************************** |
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