Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

***********************************************************************************

Your Ho Ass Aint Black, You Creeper Bitch (txt entry)

Sis: Mamas giving her money

Phayth: Yeah for the gas and junk to get back and forth...but we also need money for new tires...

Sis: Well you kno... get on that country cornerr.

Phayth: Hah! Wow...thanks sis...why dnt u get on ur corner and then just mail us the money?

Sis: Sike. We want to kno what yur getting us for Christmas?

Phayth: Who is "we"? And since Im broke...probably nothing...unless u guys want a pot or a candle holder that I can make in clay...

Sis: Me, 12(bro now 13) & 7(bro now 9). We all want iPods. You better take advanced clay for that shit.

Phayth: Lmao! Sure...Ill get right on that.....after u go and make me some money...

Sis: I cant leave its to late & Mamas sleeping. Ill get arrested & theres no proof that Mamas my Mama cuz YOU lost my birth certificate so ill go to a foster home.

Phayth: I did NOT lose it! I dnt know what happened...and I really do feel bad about that...maybe Ill start callin post offices or somethin...

Phayth: Not too late...this is the best time...lol...

Phayth: Bsides doesnt matter what time...if u got caught in the daylight ur lil ass will still get arrested...

Sis: It is 9:54 here. Id get killed by the neighbors dog Kujo.

Phayth: Run faster. Dnt let that damn dog catch you...shiiiit your black...u got it in you...

Sis: I AM CAUCASION! I dont wana be black ne more. I like being white.

Phayth: You are *SUCH* a fuckin SELLOUT!!! I cnt *BELIEVE* this shit...

Phayth: Your black card got revoked anyway. Youre no longer a member of this club.

Sis: Why not? Do you need a concelor?

Sis: ‎*councelor

Sis: When did it get removed?

Phayth: One: What the fuck are u tryin to say? Two: It got removed cause u stopped being black...only Im tryin to make it seem like u lost it b4 hand..

Sis: Look bro... I just checked & yurs is declined.
& Im thinking that yur a little crazy & need to seek professional help.

Phayth: I am *NOT* fuckin crazy! Why does EVERYONE think Im fuckin nuts! Im. Not. Nuts.

Phayth: And Im NOT ur bro! And I am waaaay MORE black than you!

Phayth: Was that crazy enough for you? Do I sound black? Lmao.

Sis: Some ones been watching way too many Tyler Perry movies. *cough* YOU!

Phayth: There is NOTHING wrong with that. Tyler Perry teaches me how to let out my inner Madea and how to act black in America. Thank you Tyler Perry.

Sis: Dont use excuses you dirty rotten scoundrel.

Phayth: Ahhh...you are just upset because the deeply layered blackness of the Tyler Perry films was just to hard for you to comprehend. You know you want tips on how to act black!

Sis: Umm sike I deeply understand them movies. & Did you see Janet Jacksons hair?

Phayth: Suuuure you do. If you TRULY understood them you wouldnt claim to be Caucasian. Which movie? She kinda creeps me out...

Sis: She aint creepy. But just google it.

Phayth: Shes a total creeper. Shes in a lot of his movies. You mean the new one where her hair is all spiky n shit? That gonna be your new hair do?

Sis: Umm no wtf are you talkin bout my new hair do?

Phayth: Wtf u tlkin bout with janets hair?

Sis: I asked if you saw it

Phayth: Yeah...and? What bout it?

Sis: Nothin I was just wondering if you seen it

Phayth: Yes, damn! I think I answered your question...

Sis: O.K. God, stupid black person.

Phayth: Ahhh fuck off you lame ass white girl.

Sis: Im proud to be white.

Phayth: Everyone is.

Sis: Ill arrest you. Its 11:30 go get on yur corner hurry up.

Phayth: U dirty little creeper...

Sis: Its what I live for

Phayth: Cause u aint got nothin better to do...shoulda watched those damn Tyler Perry movies.

11:34 pm - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2010

***********************************************************************************

Did Ya Know? (txt entry)

Sis: Dolphins are assholes. They kill just as many people every year as great white sharks.

Phayth: Lmao...that was random...

Sis: I just thought id let you kno how I feel about them little demons... You kno, since you like them & all.

Phayth: Umm thanks...their not demonic...and yeah i like them...but i dnt love them like i used to...hello kittys got my heart :)

Sis: Well in that case.
Hello Kittys an asshole. She kills just as many people every year as great white sharks do.

Phayth: *laughs* are u just makin this shit up?

Sis: No its true!

Phayth: Hello kitty for one isnt real...for 2 how the FUCK can she kill anyone?!

Sis: Chucky isnt real either. Does he kill people!? YESSS. Cmon its common sense Phayth.

Phayth: That shit makes no sense whats so ever...which is why it took u 20 mins to reply back to me...

2:04 am - Saturday, Oct. 30, 2010

***********************************************************************************

Past Fuck Ups - Future Lessons