Trying To Put Out My Dumpster Fire

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The Spaz...so tired of toys...

Okay...I'm on the coach website....I fuckin want this purse...downside it costs $398....yeah
not gettin it...
Anyway this week I wrk 4 days(I ended up wrkin 6!!!)....they even tried to get me to come in today....I wouldve ...
but...
I get stressed at wrk....always needin my numbers and shit...
besides...
I have a lot of people goin to bat for me.....defendin me against another manager who thinks I'm only worth one day....
Now I'm gettin my numbers and hes bein nice...
But my thing is....what if I start to fail? Cuz then it wouldnt be just me...it'd be everyone else that defended me that'd I'd fail...
I hate it when people look at me with disappointment when they realize I no longer meet their standards...
Also at wrk yes'day I acted like a jerk/spaz/ass...
I guess I was bein mean to Twizzler and I'mma have to apologize when I see him tomorrow(which is also his bday)....
I was also actin fucked up out of wrk in the parkin lot...with Skittles...so I called her after Twizzler dropped me off and apologized to her...
*Sighs*
I...just feel like I'm sinkin back in my depression and Im fightin it...cuz I hated bein depressed...I was fucked up(like my old journal)...
So anyway now my personality is wacked the fuck up...
I'm tryin to fix it though....

12:09 pm - Tuesday, May. 20, 2008

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Past Fuck Ups - Future Lessons